I love the synopsis of your life. Thank you for sharing. We go through life so quickly, not stopping to reflect, reminisce, appreciate. And then we come to that final stage of life and all the things we
"stuffed," come roaring at us like an lion with one thing on his mind.
Vicki, I've lived life alone since I was 35 and now I am 85. I shouldn't say I lived life alone. My husband passed on when I was 35 with one child due in seven weeks and three others aged eight, ten and twelve.
Journey, my border collie, is also reaching the end of what we call life here on Earth. He has taught me what love, companionship and unselfishness truly is.
"We go through life so quickly, not stopping to reflect, reminisce, appreciate. And then we come to that final stage of life and all the things we "stuffed," come roaring at us like an lion with one thing on his mind." This is brief and profound about coming of aging. I'm ever more aware that this searing life review is THE required course. If it is not searing... perhaps you aren't looking down in the basement... or under the rug.
Very moving, Vicki, heartfelt and strong. I've had deep loneliness in my life too, mostly from an unhappy childhood and how that has echoed down the years. Eventually, I realized that withdrawing from my parents and brother was the only choice I had left, difficult though that was. Every day, I'm thankful for my wife and children, without whom I'd be nowhere. I've followed a different path, in my own way, and though it has come with costs, I wouldn't have had it any other way. I wish you well.
Vicki, I am 60 and while I have a child, whom I adopted from Ukraine, I am very much alone. I have friends and I have siblings. But I have reconciled life on my own. I hike alone. I RV alone. I smile alone. I eat alone. I sleep . . . with a couple of cats. I'm alone. But I'm not lonely. I also feel like I'm in a race to do everything I can do now, because I may not be able to do it tomorrow. I'll be up your way in a week. Let me know if you'd like to share a meal with another "cat lady."
Being a boomer I am in the harvest phase too, and deep reflection on choices with family, community, and self. As the world tilts in difficult directions I refuse to give up conviction that Love Wins. Leonard Cohen's "Anthem" is one of my anthems always. And, like you, I'm still swinging my energy and voice into the world, by necessity, and by desire to contribute however possible. We're not dead yet, Vicki, so bring it on, dear friend. You are loved and your voice is treasured!
We are so fortunate to live long enough to get perspective that doesn’t put ourselves as the most important person. I’m so surprised by the opportunity to reach back into my own painful memories and find healing by accepting my part in creating the pain. Living in a time of so much surety in so many public realms it is quite humbling and lovely to be less sure, and more open.
Yes, and thank you. Honest vulnerability facing the shadows of pain and roads taken and not taken...deep, deep medicine. Early morning here, graced with much needed rain, my morning coffee and the companionship of words across ley lines. Thank you.
Ann here, thinking it was not so much a stumble as a fast rising up out of dark waters, from feeling a sadness I didn't understand, to popping up into the light of, So THAT's what it's about. My son's recent wedding was a mad, wonderful affair, so why be sad in the aftermath? Listening to all that honesty, there on the harbor, it hit me. His dad had been at the wedding, and I had hurt him, a really nice guy I'd left for not being smart enough, taking with me this son who was getting married that day. My ex had no other children, though he's married many times. I'd cut him out of this son's life. And I couldn't even tell him I was sorry for causing him pain—he has dementia and had no idea who I was. Yeah, I'd never said that before, to anyone—hadn't even known it to tell.
There's something powerful about people being honest with each other and themselves. Thanks again for organizing that conversation. And I get to be Mirren!
thank you for sharing that story here. I've come to think that what surfaces with a kind, honest, life review, accepting memories as they arise, is an initiation from older to elder. because we can embrace ourselves and our missteps, we are trustworthy to ourselves and to younger people who look to us as they bushwhack their own paths through the jungle of life-making
Best one yet Vicki!! I could see and smell and hear and feel all of that lunch and all that it unleashed going down the rabbit hole. It’s funny I have almost the opposite situation with children and grandchildren and friends and husband and my thing, I really have a hard time finding time to write, so I applaud that you can do that. I’m sorry that we didn’t spend time together when I lived in your neck of the woods. We could’ve definitely been BFFs
Lovely.
I love the synopsis of your life. Thank you for sharing. We go through life so quickly, not stopping to reflect, reminisce, appreciate. And then we come to that final stage of life and all the things we
"stuffed," come roaring at us like an lion with one thing on his mind.
Vicki, I've lived life alone since I was 35 and now I am 85. I shouldn't say I lived life alone. My husband passed on when I was 35 with one child due in seven weeks and three others aged eight, ten and twelve.
Journey, my border collie, is also reaching the end of what we call life here on Earth. He has taught me what love, companionship and unselfishness truly is.
"We go through life so quickly, not stopping to reflect, reminisce, appreciate. And then we come to that final stage of life and all the things we "stuffed," come roaring at us like an lion with one thing on his mind." This is brief and profound about coming of aging. I'm ever more aware that this searing life review is THE required course. If it is not searing... perhaps you aren't looking down in the basement... or under the rug.
Very moving, Vicki, heartfelt and strong. I've had deep loneliness in my life too, mostly from an unhappy childhood and how that has echoed down the years. Eventually, I realized that withdrawing from my parents and brother was the only choice I had left, difficult though that was. Every day, I'm thankful for my wife and children, without whom I'd be nowhere. I've followed a different path, in my own way, and though it has come with costs, I wouldn't have had it any other way. I wish you well.
Vicki, I am 60 and while I have a child, whom I adopted from Ukraine, I am very much alone. I have friends and I have siblings. But I have reconciled life on my own. I hike alone. I RV alone. I smile alone. I eat alone. I sleep . . . with a couple of cats. I'm alone. But I'm not lonely. I also feel like I'm in a race to do everything I can do now, because I may not be able to do it tomorrow. I'll be up your way in a week. Let me know if you'd like to share a meal with another "cat lady."
Thx Brenda. I'll need to pass in the meal, but someone should write a book about older women with cats.
Being a boomer I am in the harvest phase too, and deep reflection on choices with family, community, and self. As the world tilts in difficult directions I refuse to give up conviction that Love Wins. Leonard Cohen's "Anthem" is one of my anthems always. And, like you, I'm still swinging my energy and voice into the world, by necessity, and by desire to contribute however possible. We're not dead yet, Vicki, so bring it on, dear friend. You are loved and your voice is treasured!
We are so fortunate to live long enough to get perspective that doesn’t put ourselves as the most important person. I’m so surprised by the opportunity to reach back into my own painful memories and find healing by accepting my part in creating the pain. Living in a time of so much surety in so many public realms it is quite humbling and lovely to be less sure, and more open.
Yes, and thank you. Honest vulnerability facing the shadows of pain and roads taken and not taken...deep, deep medicine. Early morning here, graced with much needed rain, my morning coffee and the companionship of words across ley lines. Thank you.
Ann here, thinking it was not so much a stumble as a fast rising up out of dark waters, from feeling a sadness I didn't understand, to popping up into the light of, So THAT's what it's about. My son's recent wedding was a mad, wonderful affair, so why be sad in the aftermath? Listening to all that honesty, there on the harbor, it hit me. His dad had been at the wedding, and I had hurt him, a really nice guy I'd left for not being smart enough, taking with me this son who was getting married that day. My ex had no other children, though he's married many times. I'd cut him out of this son's life. And I couldn't even tell him I was sorry for causing him pain—he has dementia and had no idea who I was. Yeah, I'd never said that before, to anyone—hadn't even known it to tell.
There's something powerful about people being honest with each other and themselves. Thanks again for organizing that conversation. And I get to be Mirren!
thank you for sharing that story here. I've come to think that what surfaces with a kind, honest, life review, accepting memories as they arise, is an initiation from older to elder. because we can embrace ourselves and our missteps, we are trustworthy to ourselves and to younger people who look to us as they bushwhack their own paths through the jungle of life-making
Thank you for sharing these profound insights
Best one yet Vicki!! I could see and smell and hear and feel all of that lunch and all that it unleashed going down the rabbit hole. It’s funny I have almost the opposite situation with children and grandchildren and friends and husband and my thing, I really have a hard time finding time to write, so I applaud that you can do that. I’m sorry that we didn’t spend time together when I lived in your neck of the woods. We could’ve definitely been BFFs