Dear Vicki, We all love you so fiercely, and you have always been a beautiful vibrant brilliant leader for us -- that makes it hard to hear you are sad, struggling. I know any of us nearby would show up in a heartbeat if you said "come now!" And I just have to say, and I hope you feel the humor in this -- that applies to those of us who may have received the hard edge of Vicki at some point in the past! And I mention that because you have shared that piece of your humble reckoning as part of your "coming of aging." Now we love you for showing us a way through being an elder, and an elder woman. Someone mentioned "imposter syndrome" here. Just recently I was grateful to find Reshma Saujani’s 2022 address to Smith College graduates where she claims imposter syndrome is not an individual psychological problem; it's a systematic intentional result of sexism and misogyny. I think so much of our emotional pain is such -- as females, now as elder females -- and whatever other identities for which we could possibly have been targeted. It's funny -- I have never written a response to one of your posts before, despite finding them inspirational and touching and courageous, but for this time, I wanted to send you unconditional love. Your "mother" post brought up deep feelings for me in that same vein, where loving our mothers was made an impossibility by a misogynist society. It was a failing, a tragedy, for which neither we nor our mothers were truly responsible. So as you struggle on a personal level, know you are good, and you have this cadre of sisters (and male allies!) backing you all the way. (Please post if you need anything!)
Thank you for telling us what’s been going on, Vicki. This took courage, and I’m really grateful you didn’t disappear with it. I’m holding you in my thoughts and rooting for the part of you that always finds its way back. Glad to see your words again. Love you like a spiritual sister! ❤️
Big feelings for the Big Steppers ❤️ I love you my friend. Your presence in my life has been such a blessing. You light me up even on your dark days- you have so much capacity to hold this with care. You’re a true teacher.
sending you a cozy lazy shoulder to lean on and to be with this particular wind as it blows... like all winds, and most things, you can count on things to change.... call any time sweetie, bring the dark winds with you, have a leeward respite.
Thank you for your courage in speaking of these things. Also bipolar with shades of autism. The darkness of this place when I am in it is soul sucking , debilitating, all encompassing. When the world around me is also dark and full of sorrow and endings, it seems to add another layer of despair. Bipolar depression is a very very hard place. Offering you a hand to hold, and care, and understanding.
Shedding light on depression is a thing you can do. Thank you for doing it. I see (read?) you in this light too and am grateful you remain here -- in all the ways of your being.
A difficult writing, Vicki. I've known you in versions of all you describe above, though certainly not all. All you are are still you and lovable in their own ways. I hope the waves are settling somewhat at this point and conveyed their own secret learnings. Feel free to contact us, we are a team of sorts, and I know you know my wife is a darn good lighthouse (to mix my metaphors a bit). <3
You are amazing, inspiring, and real. All what the world needs more of right now.
Thank you. Any other way is becoming impossible
Next winter in Mexico
Sun, sun, sun. Living where you are would sink me.
Dear Vicki, We all love you so fiercely, and you have always been a beautiful vibrant brilliant leader for us -- that makes it hard to hear you are sad, struggling. I know any of us nearby would show up in a heartbeat if you said "come now!" And I just have to say, and I hope you feel the humor in this -- that applies to those of us who may have received the hard edge of Vicki at some point in the past! And I mention that because you have shared that piece of your humble reckoning as part of your "coming of aging." Now we love you for showing us a way through being an elder, and an elder woman. Someone mentioned "imposter syndrome" here. Just recently I was grateful to find Reshma Saujani’s 2022 address to Smith College graduates where she claims imposter syndrome is not an individual psychological problem; it's a systematic intentional result of sexism and misogyny. I think so much of our emotional pain is such -- as females, now as elder females -- and whatever other identities for which we could possibly have been targeted. It's funny -- I have never written a response to one of your posts before, despite finding them inspirational and touching and courageous, but for this time, I wanted to send you unconditional love. Your "mother" post brought up deep feelings for me in that same vein, where loving our mothers was made an impossibility by a misogynist society. It was a failing, a tragedy, for which neither we nor our mothers were truly responsible. So as you struggle on a personal level, know you are good, and you have this cadre of sisters (and male allies!) backing you all the way. (Please post if you need anything!)
Love from my heart to yours. x
Thank you for telling us what’s been going on, Vicki. This took courage, and I’m really grateful you didn’t disappear with it. I’m holding you in my thoughts and rooting for the part of you that always finds its way back. Glad to see your words again. Love you like a spiritual sister! ❤️
Love you like a spiritual sister as well, and we'll have years of enjoying and deepening this connection…
love the sound of that! ❤️❤️❤️
Big feelings for the Big Steppers ❤️ I love you my friend. Your presence in my life has been such a blessing. You light me up even on your dark days- you have so much capacity to hold this with care. You’re a true teacher.
I've had a 'down' few months myself. Integration phases often don't feel good. Spring lies live ahead. I'm feeling that lift now too.
Decades ago at a conference I asked you a question, and your response was, "Throw a better party!"
I'm working on it. For the world. Maybe something for you to look forward to. Perhaps wintertime reading a year or so from now.
hola chica,
sending you a cozy lazy shoulder to lean on and to be with this particular wind as it blows... like all winds, and most things, you can count on things to change.... call any time sweetie, bring the dark winds with you, have a leeward respite.
Thank you for your courage in speaking of these things. Also bipolar with shades of autism. The darkness of this place when I am in it is soul sucking , debilitating, all encompassing. When the world around me is also dark and full of sorrow and endings, it seems to add another layer of despair. Bipolar depression is a very very hard place. Offering you a hand to hold, and care, and understanding.
Hey, Lil Sister...
Sad to see you've nose-dived--glad to see all the love and respect here upholding you.
Listen to them.
Sending you huge virtual hugs.
Shedding light on depression is a thing you can do. Thank you for doing it. I see (read?) you in this light too and am grateful you remain here -- in all the ways of your being.
Vicki, I'm so sorry for your pain. I admire you so much-- high, low, and all the points in between.
I love you, Vicki.
A difficult writing, Vicki. I've known you in versions of all you describe above, though certainly not all. All you are are still you and lovable in their own ways. I hope the waves are settling somewhat at this point and conveyed their own secret learnings. Feel free to contact us, we are a team of sorts, and I know you know my wife is a darn good lighthouse (to mix my metaphors a bit). <3
Thank you for your honesty, and generosity in sharing. Me too. Hanging in there, and people like you help. You are a beacon.